


This is Who We Are

by CarylLover



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Sexual Content, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-02 06:08:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4049113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarylLover/pseuds/CarylLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron is badly injured and, after the attack of The Wolves, the group at ASZ is left vulnerable. Daryl needs to go out to find more people, but he can't go alone. He chooses Carol to go with him. This time together will revive some painful memories for Carol and confessions will be made. But will they only come from Carol? Does Daryl have a dark secret too?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story ever. So please don't be too harsh on me :).  
> English is not my first language and this is my first time writing anything, so **Darluvscaryl** & **sjstew27** helped me with some corrections and rephrasing. Thank you a LOT ladies!
> 
> Also, thank you to you too **Upsgirl88** , for convincing me to do this!

It had been three weeks since Aaron was injured on a run with Daryl, and according to Rosita, it would be another three to five weeks before he would be fully healed. During their last run, Aaron and Daryl were cornered by a dozen walkers in a drug store, and Aaron's foot ended up being crushed when a shelf fell over onto it. Even though, technically Rosita was not a doctor, she was the closest they had to one, since the whole Pete incident took place. She was doing well, but they really needed to find an actual doctor.

A week before Aaron's accident, the group inside Alexandria was attacked by a group who called themselves _The Wolves_. They had built an army of walkers and they were having fun carving Ws on their foreheads. The group was able to fight them off, but at a cost. They lost a lot of good and innocent people and a big part of their wall was damaged. Abraham and his crew were doing the best they could to fix it and Glenn and Tara were helping out by going on runs as often as they could to find supplies for the rebuild. Everyone was trying their best to help, including Eugene who was working on creating ammunitions. However, it wasn't enough. They needed to find more people for their community, because they were exposed and vulnerable to human or walker attacks.  
Deanna set up a meeting with Daryl about the whole Aaron situation.

"I know Aaron is still injured," Deanna told him. "And believe me, if it wasn't for our current situation, I would ask you to wait until he was fully recovered, that being said, we can't afford to wait right now. You need to go out and recruit."

"You want me to go out alone?"

"No. It’s not safe for anyone to go out alone," she replied. "I trust you. You choose the person that is best suited to go on this run with you."

"Al'right,” Daryl said "When do we leave?"

"I'd like you to go as soon as possible. Preferably tonight or tomorrow morning."

~~~

"Me?" Carol was surprised by Daryl’s request.

"Yeah, you. I still ain't trusting a lot of people here. Rick and Michonne should stay here for protection, Glenn and Tara are doing runs everyday, Sasha has the look out tower, Abraham has to build the wall, Rosita is still taking care of people and I still feel like Maggie is dealing with her losses, and would be too fragile to go out on runs. So that leaves you."

"Oh, I see I was your first choice," she joked, trying to sound offended.

"You in or not?" he said, while hiding one of his half smiles she loved so much.

"Yes, of course! Let me just pack my stuff. When do we leave?"

"Tonight, if possible."

"That soon huh? Ok, well let me get start packing and then we can go," she said with a big grin on her face.

She was actually pretty excited to go out, as it had been a while. Sometimes she felt trapped behind those walls and missed being outside of them. She also missed being with Daryl because ever since they got to Alexandria, he'd been assigned as a recruiter. They were seeing each other less and less and they barely even talked anymore. He was always out and when he was home, they were both busy, and then he would leave again. It felt weird to her, because since this whole thing started, she’d always been with Daryl. With the exception of the couple of days they were apart after the prison fell, they hadn't been apart from each other more than a couple of hours. She missed her best friend a lot and that was another reason why she was excited to go on this run.

~~~

"So, you’re sure we have everything?" Carol asked.

"We only need food, water and weapons, really. We wanna have enough space if we find people," Daryl replied.

"Right, of course," she said. 'What a stupid question,' she thought to herself. "I guess this trip is making me more nervous than I thought. I assume we’re ready to go then?" she asked to make sure.

"Yeah, just follow me with the car."

~~~

They had been gone for a couple of hours with no issues, except for a bumpy road they had passed a few miles away. Everything is going smoothly, she thought, as Daryl motioned for her to stop. As she opened her door she heard, "You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

"Maybe I spoke to soon," she mumbled under her breath. Carol got out of the car and walked over to where Daryl was stopped.

"What’s up?"

"Must've hit something on that bumpy road back there and the engine stopped. I’ll check if I can fix it, but I might have to abandon my bike again," he said while kicking the bike. "Dammit!" Carol knew he missed Merle’s bike, that was left back at the prison. He was so happy because he got to build a new one, but now, he might have to leave this one, too.

"Look, if you can't fix it here, we can just hide it somewhere in the woods and come back for it later. Maybe you’ll be able to fix it back home," she said as she tried to comfort him the best she could.

"Yeah, you're right. It’s just a damn bike anyway." he replied with a little sadness in his eyes as he thought about Merle. She gently touched his arm in a compassionate way and he looked at her with a thankful smile. They both knew each other so well, most of the time they didn't even need to talk to understand what the other was thinking or feeling. "Well, we better get going."

"Yeah, let's go."

They both got into the car and Daryl started driving first when they agreed they would take turns.

~~~

Carol had fallen asleep when Daryl nudged her to wake up. They were parked in front of a little cabin that looked like it had been abandoned way before the world ended.

"We should hold up here for the night as it is too dangerous to be out any longer," Daryl said, as she rubbed her eyes trying to wake up. She nodded in agreement and they both got out of the car and took whatever they were going to need for the night. It was actually chilly and Carol was so grateful she thought about bringing extra blankets.

When they entered the cabin, they did a quick sweep that only took a minute as the cabin only had two rooms. The bigger room had a kitchen and a bedroom area with a sofa and the smaller one was the bathroom. Carol decided to change the bed for the night because they actually had clean sheets and blankets. While she was doing that, Daryl was looking through their bag for something to eat. He decided they  
would have turkey jerky and some of Carol’s cookie she brought with them.

When Carol took the covers of the bed, there was a doll with a blue dress and blonde hair. Carol froze when she saw it because it was like something hit her in the chest. The doll looked so much like Sophia, it was eerie. She fought back the tears that were threatening to come out because she didn't want to cry right now; especially not over a stupid doll. She looked up and saw it was too late, because Daryl had seen her and was now looking at the source of her sadness. He immediately understood, like she had earlier with him, and he took the doll and threw it in a corner, hiding it. She was grateful he did, because she didn't have the strength to do it herself and didn't want to see it anymore. She thought that being away from all the children back at Alexandria would give her a break from thinking about Sophia, Mika and Lizzie, but fate was being cruel to her.

~~~

They ate their jerky in silence, but Daryl kept watching Carol. He was wishing he could read her mind, because he wasn't stupid, he knew she was not just thinking about Sophia. Something else was tormenting her and he didn't know what it was. He knew it had to be about the girls as she had told him that what happened was worse than them just not making it, but she never did tell him anything beyond that. He could see it was overwhelming her from the inside and wished she would just let it all out. He thought she trusted him enough to talk to him, like he did with her when Merle died, but he realized he might be wrong. It was painful for him to accept that his best friend didn't trust him enough to share this with him, but he wouldn't push her, not yet anyway.

~~~

When they were both done, Carol proposed to take the first watch, since she had already slept a bit in the car anyway.  
She sat at the table, looking outside. It looked so peaceful as there were no walkers in sight. Her mind drifted again to that awful afternoon at the grove; like it did most nights when she was alone with her thoughts. This time she let the tears fall. Carol didn't know why she had kept it inside this whole time, and figured it was just easier to pretend she was fine. It actually felt good to let herself feel it after all this time.

Carol didn't even realize he had woke up or how she missed hearing him, but next thing she knew, Daryl was taking her in his arms. His touch was so comforting, she just let herself melt in his embrace and cried even harder as he gently stroked her back and her hair. After what seemed like hours, Daryl broke the hug and she instantly missed his touch. She wished they could've stayed in each other's arms all night. He placed a comforting kiss on her forehead, like she once did to him, and told her to go sleep, as he would take the next watch.  


She went to sleep in peace, like she hadn't done in what seemed like an eternity. She was also happy and relieved to see that she hadn't lost whatever she had with Daryl. They may have spent more time apart from each other since they got to Alexandria, but this just showed her that they were still as close as before.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning when Carol woke up, she started to prepare some fresh fruits with bread for breakfast. She was so glad that there was actual food they could eat now that they were part of a community. She didn't think she would miss bread that much once it was gone, but when she ate some for the first time in a long time, she groaned and closed her eyes it was so good. They both ate their breakfast fast so they could hit the road. When it was lunch time, they ate in the car so they wouldn't waste time on their journey.

It had now been three days and they hadn't found anything or anyone. Carol was starting to lose faith. The only thing they’d come across was some little packs of walkers, which they’d dealt with fairly quickly. It was getting dark again and they still hadn't found anything yet. Carol really hoped they would actually find people on this mission.

They had to stop for the night and they found what looked like a cheap motel. After their sweep of the rooms, they settled down. They were able to find some clothes, but nothing else. Everything else was already gone. After dinner, neither of them was tired, so they just sat there.

“Well, it was an uneventful couple of days,” Carol said with a sigh.

“Yeah, we’ll have a lot more of those, so get used to it,” Daryl replied.

“And I thought you were the optimistic one between the two of us,” she said with a light laugh. Daryl laughed too. It was nice to laugh, but it was also nice to see him laugh. It had been a while for the both of them. They had gone through a lot in the past month, and even before that. They were still coping with their latest losses; they were still dwelling with them. Carol hadn't really said anything when Beth and Tyreese died. Of course she had cried a bit, but she had mostly kept it inside. In some ways, Beth was like a daughter to her. After the farm when she lost Sophia and Beth her mom, they had become really close and she had taken her under her wing. And now she was gone. And Tyreese, as odd as it would seem, after everything she went through with him, even the incident with Karen, they had also become very close. He was the only one who knew what happened to the girls, and now he wasn't there anymore to share this awful secret with her. These two deaths left a hole in her heart, but she couldn't show it. She had to show how strong she was. But when she thought about the other night and how it felt really liberating to let herself go in Daryl’s arms, she started to rethink her mourning mechanism. Maybe it wasn't easier to keep it all inside and to try to forget it. She looked at Daryl who looked lost in his thoughts. “Maybe I could tell at least one person,” she thought. The only one she felt comfortable enough and trusted enough was Daryl. He always understood her and he never judged her.

She cleared her throat. “Where are you?” she asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Daryl looked at her. “I was miles away I guess.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“Nothin',” he started, and then looked at his hands. “Just about how much we've lost lately… Beth… Tyreese… And I was foolish enough to think we were gonna be fine when we got to Alexandria, but then Noah died.” He looked at her with such a big sadness in his eyes. “Two Carol... We've lost two kids in the past two months. That’s too many.” He paused there and after a couple of minutes he started talking again. “I had taken it upon me to keep her safe after Hershel died. Someone had to. She had just lost her dad and we didn't know where Maggie was or if she was even alive. She was completely lost. I tried to help her, but I failed… Again. I failed at keeping a little girl safe again. First Sophia now Beth…”

Carol didn't let him finish “Hey… It’s not your fault, okay? Either of them. You did everything you could, what happened to them was awful, but it was not your fault, do you hear me?” She didn't know when she started to cry, but tears were rolling down her cheeks. She approached him and took his hands in hers.

“I didn't know if we were gonna see any of you guys again,” he said. He then looked up and stared at her again and spoke in a softer voice. “I didn't know if I was gonna see you again.” He was now playing with her fingers.

“It’s okay. I’m here. We’re both here. We’re not dead, remember?” she said with a little smile. She couldn't resist, she put one hand on his cheek and he leaned into her touch, closing his eyes. Daryl then put his forehead against hers. He opened his eyes and looked into her eyes and she looked right back into his. There was a silence then. It was more intimate than they ever had been so far.

“What happened?” Daryl asked her, but Carol wasn't sure what he was talking about. So much had happened lately.

“What happened to you after the prison? With the girls?"

Carol didn't answer, she just closed her eyes and cried some more. She wanted to tell him, she wanted to tell him so bad, but it was just too painful. Daryl took her face in his hands, wiping some of her tears with his thumbs. “You can trust me, you know you can… Look at me.” She listened to him “You can trust me… I know you.” Telling her the same words she once told him. He then took her in his arms and let her cry.

“I know,” she told him after a little while. “I know,” she repeated, “but it’s just too painful,” she admitted.

Daryl gently stroked her back. “Take your time, I’m here for you. I’ll always be.” Then he broke the hug and put his hand under her chin to make her look up at him. Daryl then leaned forward and put his lips to hers. It was a very quick, yet tender kiss. “I’m here for you,” he repeated.

“I know,” she replied. It’s not how she imagined their first kiss would be, if there ever was going to be one, but it just felt like the perfect kind at the perfect time.

She smiled at him and he smiled back, “I think I’m gonna go to sleep. Do you mind taking the first watch?”

“Course not. Go sleep, I got this,” he replied while giving her one last quick kiss and heading towards the window with his crossbow.

~~~

When Carol woke up the next morning, the sun was already up and Daryl was making breakfast.

“You didn't wake me for the second watch!” she told him angrily.

“You were exhausted and you looked so peaceful sleeping, I didn't have it in me to wake you,” Daryl replied with a shrug, while giving her some dry cereal.

Carol took the bowl. “But you didn't sleep!” she almost yelled at him.

“I’m fine. I’m not even tired, I’ll be okay.” He could be as stubborn as she was sometimes, but she couldn't stay mad at him too long with that damn half smile of his. She was grateful for the extra sleep though, even if he didn't get any. She was indeed exhausted, he was right.

~~~

They ate fast and hit the road once again. After a couple of hours, Carol pulled over on the side of the road at Daryl’s request.

“Where did you see it?”

“Right there,” he said while pointing in the woods, “I swear I saw someone.”

“You’re sure it wasn't just a lone walker?” Carol asked

“No, no. I’m sure it was a breathing human being. He wasn't walking like a walker,” he answered.

“Okay. You’re the expert. So what do we do now?”

“We walk,” he said with a smile. “Grab your gear, some food, some water. We’re following him on foot,” Daryl looked at her and said, “Oh! And don’t forget the radio thingy to listen to him. I’ve got the binoculars.”

They had been following him for about two hours and still no signs of him.

“He must be moving fast if we haven’t caught up to him,” Daryl said.

After about another hour, Carol heard him swear, “Fuck!” he yelled while kicking a piece of wood, “We lost him! The tracks just stopped.” He looked so disappointed, it made her heart hurt.

“Maybe he saw that we were following him?” she suggested.

“Yeah, probably… Dammit!”

“So what now?”

“We head back to the car, it’s pointless to try to find him right now anyway. It’ll take us at least three hours to head back to the car and the sun is already setting. We don’t really have a choice.” He spoke more softly, “We’ll try to find his tracks tomorrow.”

He was so upset, the only thing that Carol found to make him better was to kiss him. It seemed to work, because when she pulled away he was smiling at her.

“We’ll find him tomorrow,” she told him placing her hand on his cheek.

“We will,” he repeated after her.

They started to head back the way they came, without noticing an unknown figure in the tree looking down at them walking away. That figure had long dark hair, with a hat and a rag covering his face.


	3. Chapter 3

As they were heading back, they were trying to focus on finding a place to stay the night, as there was maybe thirty minutes of sunlight left. It was almost dark, and they still had quite to travel quite a ways to get to the car.

“You know, if that guy knew we were tracking him and he was able to hide his tracks, it means he’s really smart and he knows what he’s doing. We definitely want him in the group. He could be a really good asset,” Daryl told her. He then he looked at her with a little smile, “He’s like a ninja.”

“What makes you think it’s a guy? Maybe it’s a really cool woman. You saw this person from a far distance. Since when are you sexist?” she told him with a little laugh.

“Pfft… Stop.” He was laughing, too.

They heard a twig break behind them and they both turned toward the sound, weapons ready to attack whatever was there, but there was nothing. They lowered their weapons, and that’s when Carol noticed something moving in the distance.

“Shit,” she said under her breath. That’s when Daryl saw too. “Oh fuck!” he said.

They both started to run. There was a herd heading towards them.

“There’s at least like fifty of them!” Carol told Daryl.

“Keep running! Don’t slow down!” Daryl replied.

They had to start running in another direction to improve their chances of getting away. After about twenty minutes, it was completely dark and they had trouble seeing in front of them, but they couldn't take their flashlights out with that herd behind them. Daryl stumbled on a rock and fell face first in the dirt as the walkers continued to get closer. Carol helped him up and while doing so, noticed a shadow not very far from them that looked like a cabin. She sighed and knew they were going to be okay. They both ran towards the cabin and entered it. They sat down and didn't make any noise. The herd passed the cabin, missing their prey that was in it.

After they were sure the herd was gone, Carol sighed again, letting out the breath she hadn't noticed she was keeping in. She looked at Daryl and they both started to chuckle.

“That was a close one,” Carol said in a relieved laugh. Daryl simply nodded in agreement.

“Well, I guess we found the place we’ll be holding up for the night,” Daryl said in a sigh. “We don’t have anything with us.”

“We still have some water and food,” Carol noticed. “We've gone longer than a night without food and water, we should be okay,” she said while giving him a smile. Daryl nodded again.

They had two granola bars and two water bottles, which they ate and drank quickly. That run made them very thirsty and hungry. They ate in silence, as usual.

~~~

They both sat on the bed, in silence.

“It was horrible,” Carol started, looking down. Daryl simply looked at her, not saying anything, he didn't want to pressure her, but she had his full attention.

“Tyreese and I had found a little pecan grove. It was really beautiful and peaceful, untouched from all of this. We had decided to catch our breath there for a couple of days before continuing our travel towards Terminus,” she had to take a pause there. The worst part was coming and she needed to choose her words carefully to get it out correctly. She had to get it out right now before she changed her mind.

“I had noticed that Lizzie had trouble with walkers. She didn't understand them,” she looked up at him then. She already had tears in her eyes. “She thought they were still alive, but simply different. She thought they were her friends, her pets. She really believed they were listening to her. I tried. I tried to explain to her what they were, but she just couldn't understand. She was yelling at me that I was the one who didn't understand. I didn't know what to do. I tried Daryl, I really tried,” she looked down again. She closed her eyes and took another pause. It was so painful, but she really needed to let it all out.

“I should've seen it… I should've seen it,” she looked up at him again. “It’s entirely my fault. I should've seen it,” Daryl started to stroke her back, encouraging her to continue. Even though she hadn't told him yet, he had tears in his eyes too. It was so hard watching her suffer like this and not being able to do anything about it. 

“It’s not your fault,” he told her.

“Yes it is,” she replied looking at him. “I left them alone. I should've known,” she paused again. “I went to hunt with Tyreese, because we really needed some food. We left the girls alone. And when we got back…” she started to cry harder now. “Lizzie was there. She was just standing there, like nothing happened. She was smiling, Daryl. She was smiling at me, with her bloody knife in her hand. She was proud of herself,” she closed her eyes again. It was so hard to say this out loud. It was so horrible. Daryl had a horrified look on his face, everything clicked in his head. He knew something awful must've happened to the girls, but he was not imagining it being that horrible. He took her in his arms and held her tightly, letting her cry in his neck. He was crying too at this point. He couldn't believe she had to go through this.

“That’s not even the worst part,” she started again. “She pulled her gun on me, begging me to wait for Mika to turn so I could understand. She did it because of me, Daryl!”

“No!” he told her. “She was sick, there’s nothing you could've done about it! It’s not your fault.”

“She said she was about to do the same to Judith. If I hadn't come at this time, she would've killed Judith too… I had to do something,” Daryl broke the hug and looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

“I had to do something,” she repeated, still looking down. “She couldn't be around other people,” she looked up at him. “I had to do something,” she repeated again in a whisper, tears still rolling down her cheeks.

Daryl took her face in his hands. He was crying as hard as she was, “Carol, it’s not your fault. She was sick, you had to do something. She would've done the same thing with Judith and probably you and Tyreese as well.” He tried to tell her she did nothing wrong, even though he knew this was not her issue with the situation, but he had to try something.

“Almost every night I see her beautiful little face, so peaceful. And then all of a sudden there’s blood all over her hair. And I’m still holding the gun, the one that I used to kill her. I shot her. I killed a child Daryl,” she was shaking.

“Hey, look at me,” she listened to him, “It’s not your fault. There’s nothing else you could've done,” he paused. “I’m here for you, no matter what. I’ll always be here for you. We’re gonna be okay,” he kissed her then. 

“We’re gonna be okay,” she repeated after him before kissing him back. She had just let out so much emotion she should have felt completely spent, but the passion in his kiss quickly brought out something different - an intense desire, and it rejuvenated her. 

This kiss didn't break off quickly like the others had. Those kisses were different, they were comforting and soothing kisses. This one held the promise of something more, yet Daryl wasn't demanding, but asking permission, testing the waters and leaving the decision ultimately to her. 

When his tongue brushed hers for the first time Carol moaned. She hadn't realized just how much she wanted him until that moment. She had known for a long time that she needed him in her life, but now she needed this. Carol needed the intimacy that had been lacking in her life for so long... Maybe forever, considering that intimacy was not something Ed had truly given her. 

Was this the right moment? She wondered. Daryl's hands cupped her face while they continued to kiss and she knew the answer. It was exactly the right time. She had bared her soul and deepest secrets and he was still there, giving her what she wanted and needed. His gentle touch on her face was so sweet and tender. It was another promise - she recognized that - he was promising not to hurt her. 

Daryl pulled back and looked at her. They were so good at reading each other’s faces and she immediately knew everything he was thinking and feeling. The best part was that it mirrored her own feelings exactly. There was a little bit of curiosity, a lot of desire, an unspoken love and the most obvious - nervousness. Carol’s heart hammered in her chest and butterflies swirled around in her tummy. It wasn't the type of nerves that leave your stomach in a knot but more of an insecurity or worry that it might not go well for any number of reasons. 

“Are we… do you… uh… shit,” Daryl stammered, looking away. Somehow him being so nervous made it a whole lot easier for her to overcome her own issues. Carol reached out and touched his cheek, bringing his gaze back to hers. When Daryl was looking at her again she simply nodded. It was both a nod of permission and a nod of encouragement and he understood. 

He reached towards her with a shaky hand and started to unbutton her shirt. Carol thought it was quite adorable the way he was trembling, but it was clearly annoying him. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “I’m nervous too.” Daryl looked up from his task and gave her a tiny half smile to say thank you. 

When her shirt was hanging open he stopped for a moment to examine the tiny bit of bare skin he’d never seen before. She wasn't close to naked, yet he was looking at her with a hunger that made her shiver. Daryl pushed the shirt off her shoulders and leaned in to kiss her neck. His lips were warm, but his mouth and tongue were hot as he nipped and sucked at her delicate skin. There was a tenderness to his exploration that Carol found surprising, though she really shouldn't have. As a person he seemed gruff and likely even cold or confrontational to a stranger, but he was really soft inside and one of the most sensitive souls she’d ever had the pleasure to call a friend. 

But this wasn't Daryl, her buddy, any longer. This was different. He was a man and she was a woman and friendship was the last thing on their minds. Daryl eased her back onto the bed and reached for her pants. She noticed right away that his hands were no longer trembling. He worked the pants down over her hips, stopping to pull off her boots and socks first. It was so strange to have someone undress her. Even when she was with Ed he would just expect her to be naked and ready when he wanted her. This was different and special. 

Carol didn't have a chance to feel self conscious that she was laying there in her bra and underwear because the way he was looking at her made her feel beautiful even before he told her. “You’re gorgeous,” he said softly, blushing slightly. She started to sit up. He was still fully clothed and she wanted to see him too. She went to reach for his shirt but Daryl stopped her. “I… um… let me… you… first,” he was stumbling awkwardly with his words still, but he got his point across. 

She nodded slowly and lay back down as her heart rate tripled. She wasn't positive as to exactly what he was planning, but if it was what she suspected… it was going to be incredible. He leaned over her, his hair falling over his eyes, and lightly caressed her body, trailing his hands over her collarbones, down the swell of her breasts, still in the bra, over her tummy, stopping at the waistband of her panties. He hooked a finger in each side and started to tug them down. She lifted her hips to help him, trying not to panic at the prospect of what was about to happen. 

It would be over embarrassingly quickly, she knew that already with the way her body was responding to the thought of what Daryl was going to do. By the time her panties were off she was practically squirming with anticipation. But he was taking his time, rubbing the outside of her thighs as he dropped to his knees at the edge of the bed. 

Carol closed her eyes and sighed as he gently pulled her legs apart. In a matter of seconds she could feel the scruff of his cheeks on the inside of her thighs as he moved higher and higher with kisses and light nips. Is this really happening? she wondered. If he were to stop at this point Carol was quite certain she would drop dead. He was getting so close… as soon as she felt his warm breath, even before his tongue touched her body, she whimpered. 

That tiny noise that she couldn't contain seemed to be very encouraging for him. Daryl explored her slowly, painfully slowly, to the point she wanted to beg. Like everything else he’d done, it was so tender and gentle. Even this most intimate sexual act was done with such love and care. It was clear he’d done this sort of thing before, even if she was likely going to be the easiest case he’d ever had.   
All the pain she’d been through, all the emotions she’d locked up inside and kept there for so long, all the worry, all the heartache, all the loss… for the first time since she lost Sophia it was all gone, even if just for a moment. It was the first time she’d been able to think about something other than the bad. It was the first time she’d been able to enjoy something good. And it was the first time she’d been able to focus on herself and not everyone else. 

Daryl had her on the edge, clinging to the sheets as if it would somehow keep her from going over so quickly. His tongue moved higher and flicked her clit a single time - just one little lick - and she whimpered again, letting go of the sheets and grabbing his head. It was just a little insurance that he wouldn't stop or pull away because she couldn't bear that. 

It was only a few more licks and she was done. “Oh God,” she gasped as the orgasm rocked her body with such force it left her dizzy and spinning. She couldn't remember a time she’d felt such incredible, intense pleasure. It started with blackness which soon shattered with explosions of light as waves of heat coursed through her body culminating right between her legs with throbs of ecstasy. Carol had no idea how long it lasted - she lost all track of time, but she knew she didn't want it to end - ever. 

When the intense feelings finally started to subside and she opened her eyes, Daryl was still squatted between her legs looking at her anxiously. How could he possibly wonder if he’d done a good job? Carol smiled at him and his face relaxed instantly. He really was so youthful in some ways, but perhaps it was simply the lack of encouragement through most of his lifetime. She reached for him and brought his lips to hers for a long, sweet kiss. When they parted she met his eyes, “I think you’re way overdressed.” Carol gave him a flirty grin and reached for his shirt. “Let’s fix that, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last part of this chapter was a gift from the amazing Upsgirl88!! Thank you again so much for this! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to Upsgirl88 for the beginning of this chapter :)

Carol seemed surprised that Daryl allowed her to take off his clothes. She knew he only allowed it because she knew him so well. It wasn't that he was overbearing or anything, but Daryl just wasn't used to having people do things for him. He’d always done everything on his own growing up and into adulthood. Even something as simple as a woman undressing him during sex was difficult for him. But the only thing he wanted was to make her happy and she seemed to be enjoying stripping him. Daryl did the only thing he could. He took a deep breath and let her - helping whenever necessary, which included getting his underwear off over the massive boner he was sporting.

He could feel his cheeks burning, standing naked before her. Not that Carol was making him feel self-conscious, but it just wasn't something he’d done often. She already knew about the scars on his back so that wasn't an issue, but she was just so damn gorgeous and he knew his body couldn't possibly live up to such perfection. But Carol was looking at him the same way he was looking at her and it eased his mind considerably - though it was difficult to believe she could be thinking the same things about him that he was about her.

Daryl couldn't seem to get himself to make the first move at that point and after a moment of hesitation she spared him. He allowed himself a flickering moment of anger because he wanted to be the one to take care of her and, as usual, she was being intuitive and helping with his insecurities. The anger faded the second she reached out and grasped his dick. In fact, all coherent thoughts faded along with it. Her touch was soft and warm and he felt his knees weaken as she stroked him slowly. “Fuck,” he groaned, involuntarily closing his eyes and hoping he didn't get dizzy and fall over.

No female hand had touched him there in so long - only his own. And Daryl was quite sure there had never been another so gentle. It was as if she knew exactly what he liked - as if she’d watched him jerk off and knew exactly how to copy his favorite moves. Jesus, he realized, opening his eyes in panic, it felt too good. It needed to stop. She needed to stop or he was going to come.

All he had to do was meet her eye and Carol let go and lay down on the bed. When he hesitated, she reached out to him, encouraging him and letting him know she was both willing and ready. Daryl moved on top of her and she spread her legs to receive him. Christ, this was it. Once this happened there was no going back. Who was he kidding? He’d just licked her pussy until she came; they were already past the point of no return.

“God, why am I so nervous?” he wondered. His dick had ached for this for so long. Masturbation was great, but it was no substitute for the warmth of a woman. And this wasn't just any woman - it was Carol. It was the one person who knew him better than anyone else. She was his rock. And he was hers. Daryl was so thankful she’d finally opened up to him and let him be there for her for a change.

He inched closer, eyeing his target as his heart pounded hard in his chest almost taking his breath away. She wiggled, just slightly, and it was clear she wanted it just as much as he did. Daryl penetrated slightly and her entire body jumped and Carol gasped. “Oh fuck, I’m sorry,” he said quickly pulling out. “Did I… did I hurt you?” His mind was reeling and he was instantly beating himself up.

“Daryl… Daryl… shhhh,” she said, smiling up at him. “It didn't hurt, it felt amazing. Please… I want you.”

“Oh…” he said, blushing fiercely. It’s not like he had never had sex before. He knew what he was doing, but her reaction scared him. Daryl wanted it to be perfect for her. He wanted her to know how much he cared about her. He wanted to be the one to take care of her. He took a deep breath. Time to man up and do this right, he told himself. He lined up again and slipped inside her, but this time the gasp came from him. He was pretty sure he had just died and gone to heaven. Nothing… absolutely nothing had ever felt so good in his entire life. It didn't just feel good physically, it felt right too. What they were doing was right and necessary.

Daryl couldn't move. It felt too good and moving was gonna end it far too quickly. So instead he shifted and gathered Carol up in his arms. He pulled her into his lap and clung to her for a moment, still buried deep inside her, before finding her lips and kissing her softly. He held her and kissed her for a long time. It was what they both needed. It started slow and gentle, but eventually the kiss became so passionate he had to pull away to catch his breath.

When he did, Carol leaned back and moved on him, just slightly. It was enough to drive him wild and Daryl quickly laid her back down. It was time. They’d waited long enough. He met her eyes and Carol gave him a tiny nod. Her eyes were so beautiful, all lusty and full of desire. He couldn't hold off any longer. Daryl hoped he could last long enough for her to enjoy it because once he started there was no stopping. He pushed deep and pulled out with a moan that matched her sigh. Daryl tried to go slow but after only a few strokes he lost control and sped up.

It was incredible. Absolutely incredible. He had enough restraint to make sure he was making love to her, not just fucking, and even took a moment to push up her bra and give her breasts some attention, which, judging by the sounds that came out of her… she really enjoyed. Daryl did his best to worship her and focus solely on her which helped distract him from coming in about 10 seconds like his body wanted to.

He tried not to be too disappointed that he wasn't going to make her orgasm before he was done. At least she’d already had one from the oral. He was close, it wasn't going to be long… Daryl felt her nails digging into his arms… he was almost there. Just as his body jerked she started to beg, “Oh god… don’t stop… so close…” Daryl forced himself to continue pushing in and out, even as the orgasm was taking over his body. “Ohhhh,” she cried her body jerking much like his had. Her eyes were squeezed shut and somehow even as his body was rippling with pleasure he was able to focus on her and how beautiful she looked. She was biting down on her lip and her nails were still digging into his arms, but as her grip slowly started to ease he felt something even more incredible… her body contracting on his dick. It was amazing and he shivered, goosebumps covering his body.

“Mmm,” she sighed, opening her eyes and looking up at him. “That was… amazing.”

“Yeah,” he echoed, slightly dazed as he withdrew and flopped down beside her. She snuggled up to him and kissed his chest in a very tender and loving way.

Daryl couldn't believe everything that just happened. Carol finally told him what happened, and he didn't think it would be that horrifying. He couldn't understand how she was able to keep this everything inside all this time. Then what happened after still felt like a dream. He smiled to himself looking down at her. She was so beautiful, and she looked so peaceful snuggled up to him. He wished this moment would never end. She looked up at him and smiled back. That’s when he decided he would tell her, he didn't want any secrets between them, he wanted them to share everything. It was gonna be hard, because he never told anyone. Nobody knew, except for Merle of course. It was time for him to tell someone, and Carol was the only one he could ever tell.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” he finally said, biting back a little cry. “It’s something that I never told anyone. The only one who ever knew was Merle. But I want you to know, I want you to know everything about me, like I know everything about you. I didn't tell you before, because… Well because I never thought I would actually tell someone. But I don’t wanna have any secrets with you,” she listened carefully to what he was saying, wanting to be there for him like he had been for her.

After a little pause, he sighed. This was gonna be hard. “About six or seven years ago, five years before this shit storm started, one of the many meaningless one-night-stands I had in my life came to my door with a two year old little guy. Told me he was mine, but that she couldn't take care of him anymore, so she dropped him off to me and just disappeared… She died of an overdose the next week,” he paused then as he was crying and Carol was crying with him.

“So I had this new little guy in my life, Sean, and I didn't know the first fucking thing about being a dad. My old man wasn't really the best role model and I was afraid I’d turn out just like him. Eventually, I got the hang of it and we hit it off pretty quickly. We weren't in the best situation, y’know? We didn't have a lot of money, I never got a job, nobody wanted to hire worthless white trash like me. But with Merle’s drug dealing and our little robberies here and there, we were doing okay. At least I could put food on the table for my kid,” then he really started to cry and Carol had a hard time watching him be this way. Her heart was aching so much. She couldn't believe what he was telling her. He had been a father. She put her hand over her mouth, she was now crying as hard as him.

“When all this shit started, the three of us did the best we could to survive, but one day…” he paused and closed his eyes, “We got cornered and, as we were escaping, one of those fuckers grabbed Sean by the leg and dragged him…. I tried… I tried so hard to go get him, but Merle was pulling me back, telling me it was too late,” he looked her right in the eyes, they were completely red from the crying, and Carol saw so much pain there. “I had to watch my kid get torn apart… I couldn't save him Carol, I was completely powerless” he barely got the words out, he was crying so much. Carol took him in her arms, like he’d done so many times for her, he couldn't stop shaking, and she cried with him.

“I was able to forget it eventually. I just buried it inside of me and when I met you and Sophia, it was hard at first, because all I could think about when I was looking at her was Sean. And now, seeing Sam is so painful, because all of those images are flashing back to me. He was just like him with little dirty blond hair, this little innocent look on his face, his cute smile when he was happy,” he broke the hug to look at her. 

“And seeing you with him… It makes me wish so much that Sean and Sophia were still here with us… You would've been such a great mom for him,” he said in a whisper. She kissed him then, she needed him to know how much he meant to her. She wanted to tell him all those things with her kiss. When she broke the kiss, she simply put her forehead against his with her eyes closed, with her hand on his cheek. She realized it was something they did often in the past couple of days together, but it was so soothing to both of them. They stayed like his for a while, with neither one of them moving or talking. They simply appreciated each other’s presence and comfort.

She felt Daryl’s hand on her face and her eyes opened, he was staring at her and then he said the words she was not expecting, “I love you, Carol,” and he kissed her again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to the lovely ladies who help me with this! :)  
> And for all of the wonderful reviews I got. You guys are amazing!  
> Here’s my last chapter and I hope you really enjoy it.

She started to cry again, but this time they were happy tears and she smiled, “I love you, too.” She kissed him again passionately. He returned the kiss with equal passion. The next thing they knew, they were making love again and it was as perfect as the first time. After that, they both fell asleep, snuggling together.

~~~

The next morning, Carol woke up to the sound of birds. She saw she was still snuggled up to Daryl and smiled, but then she realized that they had both fallen asleep and no one kept watch. They were lucky nothing happened during the night. Carol knew she should get up and get dressed to get the day started, but she just couldn't bring herself to move away from Daryl. “Just a little bit longer,” she told herself. After a couple of minutes, Daryl started to stir a bit, waking up slowly. He opened his eyes, looked down at her and smiled.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” Carol told him.

“Pfft… Stop,” he laughed. “Thank God I didn't dream this,” he said while leaning to kiss her.

“You sure didn't,” she said in a flirty way and kissed him back.

They continued to kiss and Carol positioned herself on top of him, straddling his hips. She was starting to reach down between them when someone knocked on the door. They both groaned in annoyance and disappointment, but they were also quick at grabbing their clothes and weapons. They both had their weapons at the ready and were partly clothed, Daryl still had his shirt hanging open and Carol only had time to put her tank top on. Carol approached the door, ready to open it with her knife in the other hand. She looked at Daryl, waiting for his signal. He had his crossbow up when he nodded to her to open the door. She flung the door open, ready to attack whoever was on the other side. She came face to face with a dark long haired man with a beard, wearing a woolen hat and a rag on his neck. He was holding his hands in the air   
in a surrendering gesture.

“Put your weapons on the table. NOW!” Daryl yelled at the stranger. The man listened to him.

“I’m not here to harm you, otherwise I wouldn't have knocked on the door and waited for you guys to get dressed,” he said with a laugh. This made Carol uneasy.

“You were watching us?’ she asked him in a horrified voice.

“No,” he replied, still laughing, “of course not. I’m not a voyeur, ma’am. I was waiting for you two to wake up and peeked through the window, saw you were starting to wake up, but that you were undressed, that’s all,” he still had that stupid smile on his face.

“Why are you here? What do you want?” Daryl asked him.

“Well, you were the ones following me yesterday and I wanted to ask you why. See, I heard you two talking and you don’t seem like the robber type. If you weren't after me to steal my stuff, then why?”

Daryl started to lower his weapon, but kept it at the ready, just in case. “We wanted to talk to you about something. We might have something to offer you. I’m Daryl and this is Carol,” he replied.

“Hi Daryl, Carol, my name is Paul, but my friends call me Jesus,” he held his hand out to Daryl, and Daryl shook it.

“Your friends? You have a camp?”

Jesus smiled, “More of a community.” Daryl and Carol exchanged a look, “We call it Hilltop. It’s not very far from here. I was actually looking for people when I noticed you two following me, which was odd, because I’m usually the one following people,” he said, laughing again.

“Oh, well we have a community too, that’s why we were following you,” Carol told him.

“Alexandria,” Daryl continued, “It’s about half a day away from here. We got attacked and we need new people to join us.”

“Can you show me to your leader then? I might have a good deal to offer him…”

“Her,” Carol corrected him, “Can you just give us a minute to talk?” Carol said, while gesturing to Daryl to come with her to talk about this new development.

“What do you think?” she asked him when they were far enough, “He looks a little odd, but he seems like an okay guy to me.”

“Yeah, he seems legit… But I wanna know what the deal he wants to make with Deanna is first.”

“That’s a good idea.” They both went back to where Jesus was waiting.

“Okay,” Carol started, “What’s your good deal? We wanna know before we bring you back with us.”

“Sure, ma’am…” Jesus started.

“And don’t call me “ma’am”. My name is Carol,” she told him, a bit annoyed and she didn't notice Daryl hiding a smile.

“Alright, Carol. Like I said, I belong to a community called Hilltop, but yours and ours aren't the only ones out there. There’s another one called The Kingdom…”

“The Kingdom?” Daryl cut in mid-sentence and couldn't stop the snort out of his mouth at the name of that other community.

“Yeah, I know it’s a weird name,” Jesus replied with a little laugh, “and the leader is just as weird, but a really good fella. So we do business with each other, exchange stuff, and we also have roads cleared between our communities with patrols from both sides to keep it safe for travel. We have a pretty good set up.” Daryl and Carol exchange a look, they were impressed at the installment these people had, and they wanted in. It sounded like a pretty good deal. “So my deal is, to make your community part of this. With three we’ll be even more productive and safe, and it’ll be even better,” he looked at Carol, then Daryl, searching for any unspoken answer. “So what do you think?”

Carol kept a straight face while talking to him, because she didn't wanna give away her happiness too fast. “It does sound like a great deal, I’ll give you that. We’ll take you to our leader, she’s going to be the one to make the decision in the end.”

“Sure. Do you have a car by any chance? I went out on foot today, I was planning on simply hunting on this run,” he laughed again.

“Yeah, we do, but we had to leave it on the side of the road. Jus’ hope it’s still there,” Daryl replied.

“We should leave now, if we wanna be home before dark,” Carol said. 

When Jesus was out the door, Daryl looked at her a smile, “Yes, ma’am, boss.”

“Shut up,” she told him while hitting him on the arm. They both started to laugh. He kissed her and they finished dressing themselves and walked out the door.

~~~

When they arrived at Alexandria, it was Glenn and Tara who opened the gate to them. Daryl parked and Glenn was welcoming them back and updating them. “Hey guys, glad to see you. Nothing much happened since you left. We found more supplies and Abraham’s crew’s doing pretty good on the wall,” he noticed Jesus then. “Cool! You found someone! Hi I’m Glenn,” and he went to shake his hand, but Daryl stopped him.

“No time for chit-chat Glenn, we need to talk to Deanna asap!” and him and Jesus took off.

“What’s up with him?” he asked Carol. “Some days, I really think he just needs to get laid.”

“No, it wouldn't change his mood,” she replied and looked at him with a smile. Glenn just looked at her with wide knowing eyes and Carol simply started to laugh and follow the guys to Deanna’s, leaving Glenn with this revelation.

~~~

“So, if I got this right, you want us to be part of your arrangement. And your leader is okay with this?” Deanna asked Jesus.

“I didn't get a chance to talk to him, but I know Gregory will want you with us. The more people we have, the better it is, and if I look at your situation right now, you can really use our help. If we make this deal   
and your community and ours work together from now on, we could lend you a couple of guys to help with rebuilding your walls. That’s how we work, we help each other through,” Jesus explained her.

Deanna smiled at him, “That’s what I've been trying to do since all of this started, to rebuild society.” She looked at Daryl and Carol who were standing silently in the back of the room, “Thank you both for finding this great opportunity.” They both simply nodded to her. Deanna returned her eyes to Jesus and held her hand to him. “It’d be a pleasure doing business with your communities. Do you think it’d be possible to arrange a meeting with this Gregory, I’d like to meet him?” she told him.

“I’ll see what I can do, but one of you is going to have to drive me home anyway. Why don’t you come along and meet him then?”

Deanna looked hesitant. She’d never been outside of these walls. She was scared to go, but she really wanted to meet this Gregory. She looked again at Daryl and Carol.

“We’ll go with you Deanna, the both of us. Everything is going to be okay,” Carol told her in a reassuring way.

“Okay, we’ll leave in the morning, the four of us. Until then, Paul can stay in one of the vacant houses still left,” Deanna replied. They both nodded again and Carol gestured to Jesus to follow her.

“I’ll show you where you can sleep tonight,” she told him.

“Thank you, ma’am… Mmm… I mean, Carol,” he said with a smile.

~~~

Later that night at dinner, Carl had invited Jesus to eat with them. Everyone from their group was present; they were always all eating together at night. Jesus was answering all of the group’s questions. They were mostly coming from Rick, Michonne, and Glenn. Daryl and Carol were pretty quiet and they simply listened to what was being said at the table, giving each other little glances and smiles once in a while. Nobody was really paying attention to them anyway, but when Carol looked away once, she caught Michonne looking at her with a knowing smile and then at Daryl. She seemed to understand exactly what was going on between them and she looked genuinely happy for them. It warmed Carol’s heart to see this. She was so glad to have found all of these people that she now called family. She never had a real family, besides Sophia, of course, so she would do anything for them.

~~~

Slowly people were going to bed and Carol was getting tired, too. The last couple of days had been very exhausting both physically and emotionally, and they had a big day tomorrow. She called it a night, too, and went to her room. She took her pajamas and headed to the bathroom, desperately wanting to take a shower. She had been under the spray for about five minutes when someone entered the shower and hugged her from behind. She smiled and leaned against his chest as Daryl started to kiss her neck.

“That’s a nice way to take a shower,” she told him with a little giggle. His only answer was a hum against her shoulder as his started to trail his hand down from her shoulder to her stomach to her inner thighs. Carol spread her legs to give him better access. Daryl lined himself with her folds and pushed into her and they quickly found a rhythm they both liked. This time was not like the first two times, it was more rough and fast paced with some biting and nails digging, but that’s what they both needed and wanted at that moment. It was as perfect as the other times.

After they both came, they finished their shower quickly and headed to bed. When Carol entered her room with Daryl right behind her, she noticed his stuff had been moved into it. She turned to him with tears in her eyes, but they were happy tears and she kissed him.

“I don’t wanna sleep without you anymore. I’m moving in so we’ll be together every night. I really want this. Us,” he told her.

“Me too,” she replied with a smile and kissed him again. “We should go to sleep, we have a big day tomorrow.” He nodded and they both went to bed.

As Daryl was spooning her and gently stroking her arm, she spoke, “You think this is going to work?”

“You mean us or the Hilltop?”

“Both.”

“Yes, I believe so. Actually no, I know it’s gonna work,” and he kissed her hair. “This is who we are now,” he told her as he buried his face in her neck.

Carol smiled, “Yes. This is who we are,” she repeated after him.

They then both dozed off to sleep, peacefully, with each other. Everything was going to be okay.


End file.
